Poor Kenny... they left you alone.
Alone, and even worse... with the WWE Network. And because of it now just for $9.99 he had the pleasure of having his eyes feel like they were on fire. As if someone had taken sandpaper that had sat in the summer sun all day long and soaked in lemon juice and then just went all wacko and rubbed it all over both of his eyeballs until they turned to dust... very spicy and probably foul tasting dust. Like stale crackers made of hot charcoal. So... what did this unknown sadist then do with that eyeball dust that crusted and caked around Kenny's eyes so that it felt like someone had pepper sprayed him for being too frisky on a second date? Why, he sprinkled it over his tongue of coarse. Making it so that every time Omega dared to open that sand-trap he called a mouth his tongue would morph into the Sarlacc and try to consume Boba Fett. Wait, what the hell was that? Was that a God damned Star Wars reference? Not cool, and definitely not now! He had to focus! Oh man, how long had his mind been wandering between thoughts of wrestling and other random things like Star Wars and sand worms? Whatever, it was just a momentary laps of control- he can get his shit straight. He still had time to study up and get on top of his game. This was Kenny Omega we were talking about after all- wait, did he just think 'WE'? Omega, let it go- we can't worry about things like that at a time like this. Only one battle at a time, and this battle he was about to face already had a name: The Royal Rumble. One of the closest things to utter chaos, random luck and sheer anarchy the WWE has ever known; and this yeah, Omega had his eyes on the prize. Even if those eyes hated him for being to determined to hit the tapes and push himself to be one step ahead of all of his colleagues. Omega wanted this more than any of them- and this year, the Royal Rumble match would be his to win or lose… and win is exactly what Omega and The Elite had in mind.
One again determined, Kenny gives his scruffy cheek a healthy slap and shakes his head to get the cobwebs out. His slightly insane and at the moment bloodshot eyes focused on the flat screen in time to see the image of yet another classic Rumble moment. This time it was that oh so Holy moment given to us by The Show Stoppa' himself, Mr. Michaels... the moment he taught us that both feet must touch the ground. Kenny must of still been half asleep or maybe there was more to all of this than we think because the video looks a lot like an Elite promo. How strange it was...
It was the pain in Shawn's face that stuck out to Kenny in this moment. Not how the audience seemed to hold their breath. Not how the whole place seemed to freeze still for a brief moment while the whole air lit up with camera flashes as some watched what they believed to be The British Bulldog's crowning moment while others were confused as HBK held their attention. It was in this moment that we see the pain on Shawn's face as his boyhood dream balanced on one foot and the rest of the world had dismissed him as having already been beaten. After this, he flipped back into the ring and made history by proving all those who had dismissed him wrong by toppling the Bulldog out. Something about this moment seems like it is meant to stick with Kenny; particularly since Shawn was now in this years Royal Rumble match. It all seemed to hold some kind of importance in the shattered and scattered mind of Kenny Omega as he watched on, reliving the moment like he had done when he was a little boy. The idea of hope not seeming so laughable.
Suddenly the match seemed to chang mid brawl! Or maybe Kenny had nodded off or had a stroke or something, because now he wasn't looking at Shawn Michaels taking his first steps towards a destiny he would come to know several more times.... no, instead he was looking at something else. Something he insteantly felt to be taboo.
Now just wait a moment, Omega recognized this animal! Deep down in his gut, Kenny knew that he wasn't suppose to recognize him and this moment, but apparently the WWE Network was feeling rebellious because here it was right in front of him. It was like seeing HBK all over again, Kenny couldn't put his finger on it but he felt like seeing this Rabid Wolverine meant something, seeing this kind of animal unleashed and focused on a goal... bringing out some of the most dangerous and unforgiving traits in a man. The Royal Rumble could be considered dehumanizing to those who mentally prepare to enter it. Like the Professional Wrestler Hunger Games, it was all about devouring and destroying your fellow man in the mane of televised glory. The question was simply 'just how much of a monster are we prepared to become to be the best?'. Omega felt a cold spell run down his spine as he considered all the things he would be prepared to do in order to get that World Title shot at Wrestlemania... all the people he could see himself hurting. Suddenly Kenny didn't think he and the monsters of Royal Rumble's past were so different... and he had a gut feeling he wasn't the only one like this.
And when the photo once again pulled some WWE Network voodoo and jumped involentarily; taking him to a new moment in history, Kenny was suddenly damn sure that he wasn't the only one who was willing to become a monster in order to win this damn match. And he wouldn't be the last...
The Beast Incarnate... when it came to animals in the WWE, none stood atop the WWE food chain quite like him. Kenny had always been a confident man, but when The Young Bucks had gone off to practice super kicks and something about learning better 'God Save The Queen', whatever that meant, when alone... Omega knew that just like Shawn Michaels... this former Rumble winner and world renown World Heavyweight Champion; the man they call Brock Lesnar, he would not hesitate to pull his go to card and show 'Alpha and the Omega' around good old 'Suplex City'? What if Brock tried to make an example out of him? The very thought made Kenny's upper lip curl as he watched this moment in history play out in front of his battle warn eyes. His blood boiled at the idea of Lesnar just tossing him around like some kind of rag doll. No, not on his life... Kenny would fight tooth and nail to make sure that doesn't happen. He just had to put that idea behind him- but as he did, a new idea hit him. One he had not considered before... what if HE was the one to get the upper hand on old Mr. Sloppy Suplex and give him a little taste of the new age? Maybe take Brock down a street newly built in Suplex City... a street that leads right to a place called "Croyts' Wrath"... a place where if Omega gets him there, not even Lesnar can become a threat.
Now THAT was more like it, ha ha. Omega could almost let his imagination run wild with fantisies of himself droping Brock with a modified suplex, the likes of which Lesnar could never dream of doing. That was a move only Omega had truly mastered, a testimony to his brute strength and his own inner animal nature. Damn it! Now was not the time to think on all that primal Animal Planet stuff because he must have went A.D.D because the Lesnar scene was gone and the Network was showing him something all new... well, something different at least.
Now this little flash back unnerved him most of all. Like the freaking 'Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come'- Omega can't help but read between all the lines as he looks into this window into the Royal Rumble past. Here they were, the two golden boys of the company- Dave Batista and John Cena... being humiliated and scorned like children by a wounded Vince McMahon all because he wanted ONE decisive winner to this match. He wasn't going to have another Bret and Lex Luger; he didn't care that both of his quads had been torn or if 'Big Match John' and 'BooTista' beat each other to death in that ring... whatever a McMahon wants... that is what happens. It is the whole reason The Elite had decided to band together, to make sure that no one, not in ANY promotion would get the better of them. And now it was time for Omega and his crew to put up or shut up. In the WWE Universe, this was his chance to show his true worth. The very thought of it was almost enough to consume Kenny Omega into a WWE Network Coma.
But hey, what are friends for right? And suddenly like two overly concerned parents- in bolt The Young Bucks into the hotel room where they find their buddy Kenny Omega sitting on the edge of the bed looking into a blank and possibly broken flat screeen... his mouth hanging open as he drooled on himself, not so much as blinking."CUT IT BRO!" "I AM ON IT!" "DUDE, LOOK AT HIM! WE GAVE HIM TOO MUCH JUICE FOR TOO LONG! NO MAN SHOULD SIT THROUGH THAT MUCH WWE NETWORK FOR THAT LONG! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!? The damage... could be perminent". "What does that mean Nick?"
Matt and Nick Jackson share a silent moment between them as they then turn to Kenny and speak nice and calmly to him."Kenny... buddy... can you, like, understand us Bro'seph?" Nick waves his hand in front of the face of Kenny who still has yet to blink. "If you understand the things we are saying just... I don't know, give us some kind of sign. Because we love ya' amigo, but for realz, you are kinda' freaking us out a bit" "No Joke, so if you don't mind could you-" Whatever Matt was going to say suddenly was cut short as Omega suddenly shoots to his feet and shouts-- -- -- "EUREKA! I GOT IT!" "OH JESUS!" both Young Bucks shout as they jump and cuddle each other for a moment out of shock! They quickly shove each other away and act like their normal cool selves. "What do you mean?" "Fill us in home-skillet" Matt looked at Nick like he was a tool and Nick shrugged apologetically... but Omega didn't seen to notice them as he kind of rambled to himself. "The pieces have fallen together. I- I get it now! I... I understand. Guys, get the camera and follow me. We got a message... a message we need to share... WITH THE WORLD! And more importantly, with those ass hats in the Royal Rumble who think they are just gonna' toss me out like yesterdays' trash! Oh boy, oh boy... they aint seen nothin' yet! Come on, fellas... we got work to do".
And with that, the Young Bucks shrug between themselves again and folow the manic Kenny Omega out of the hotel room as this scene down the mental rabit hole of Kenny Omega fades to black.