..:: ASHES TO ASHES... DUST TO DUST ::..

WWE Comes back live on the air to a shot of what appears to be a frantic and troubled looking Dixie Carter. Dixie was in her pantsuit and dress blouse, her hair a bit of a mess by the time the camera men caught up with her. Dixie had a bit of a mad or insane look in her eyes as she charged through the locker room area, shoving her way past pencil pushers, bookers and crew members alike who all seemed not know how to respond to her wild outburst. But it didn't seem like she was trying to get the attention of any of THEM- no, it was the camera man who she was seeking. As soon as Dixie spotted him, she reached up and grabbed him by the shoulder and practically dragged the poor fellow back down the hall with her; only turning to look over her shoulder and speak on occasion, while continuing to walk not just through the whole locker room area but right towards the parking garage.

'NXT GENERAL MANAGER' DIXIE CARTER;
"Ooooohhhh, gosh this is not good, this is soooo not good! My Spudy, he... he...oh, just COME ON!"
.

Dixie barked the orders like the woman of authority that she was as she lead the camera man right through the double 'Exit' doors and out to the parking lot where many of the superstars were no doubt keeping their rental cars, tour busses and lord knows what else. Fans half expected to see one, and apparently so did the camera man as he panned around expecting to see some type of rockstar escapades on behalf of Rocksar Spud; only the parking lot, for the most part, was empty. Well, everything except the revving of a motorbike.

And it was that thought that suddenly gave fans that sinking feeling in their stomachs. Had Baron Corbin actually gotten his hands on Spud BEFORE their match? No- security would not of allowed that, would they? They were quick to get between the men last week, but now, who is to say that Baron Corbin hadn't been laying in wait for Spud to be alone? Many of the WWE Universe assumed just that and expected to find Rockstar Spud with his face held to the back of Baron's bike tire while Corbin did a few burn outs... but instead, what they were treated to was just as disturbing... well, perhaps not AS disturbing, but it was enough to give fans an uneasy feeling.

None the less, there he was... Rockstar Spud, dressed in his skin tight leather pants and matching leather jacket; but otherwise shirtless and sitting proudly with a smug look on his face. That alone might have been enough to make fans cringe away, but in this case it wasn't Spud himself making the fans feel uneasy... but rather, the fact that he had the balls to be sitting on and even revving up what was so clearly the Motorcycle of Baron Corbin! How could fans be sure the bike belong to Corbin? The 'Lone Wolf' logo emblazed upon the side of the tank was all the proof they needed.

Now the fans understood what had driven Dixie up the wall... apparently Spud was suicidal and had hot wired and was no in possession of Baron Corbin's bike. Rockstar Spud sat there revving the bike up, his eyes hidden by sunglasses as he looked off into the distance and spoke to the unseen viewers who came along with the camera man. The audience that he seemed to so desperately crave... well, he had their attention now.

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"So, how do I look darlin'- like somethin' outta' 'Easy Rider'? I've always felt like I had dat' sorta' James Dean quality ta' me, a real photogenic mug; das' why I'm always bein' harassed for autographs, me beautiful face and raw sex appeal. But ya' gotta' admit, I look pretty damn good on dis' thing... don't ya agree?"
.

It was hard to tell who Spud was talking to, Dixie or the WWE Universe, but no matter... it was Dixie Carter who answered. Her voice sounding far less bold and confident as Spud had; it almost trembled as she replied.

'NXT GENERAL MANAGER' DIXIE CARTER;
"You look great, baby... it's just, are you sure this is a good idea?"
.

Spud sneered and scoffed away the question as he turns to Dixie with his upper lip curled and that entitled look etched across his face; it was that very look that made Dixie adore him and other superstars want to punch him in the face. But again Spud spoke with confidence.

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"Come on, dollface- now ya' know dat' good ideas are da' only kind I have. And ya' said it ya'self, I look good on dis' bike. I look real mean, real furrocious! Like a man; like a big, strong, manly man! Or betta' yet... like a Wolf. A big... bad... wolf; what do ya' think, do I look like one of 'em?"
.

This time Rockstar Spud didn't wait for a reply as he dismounts the bike and turns to face the camera. With his eyes locked on it, a shiver running through his little frame and rage bubbling over' Spud blindly kicks back into the bike and puts a fresh dent into the fender as he shouts into the camera!

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"Because THAT is all the folks in da' World Wrestlin' Entertainment company; da' bastards pushin' da' pencils, THAT IS ALL THEY WANNA' SEE! AND WHEN THEY DON'T SEE IT... they ignore ya'. Or they try ta' burry ya'. Don't believe me? Just take a bloody look at da' cards! For weeks they tossed me in matches against giants; and more times than not, I leave those beasties layin'! BUT the one week... da ONE WEEK I am in da' ring against a little fellow, what happens? Ya' got Rockstar Spud and Okada more or less openin' da' damn show! Nowhere near da' main event! So what were they tryin' ta' say? Dat' a man who has toppled KURT ANGLE... and 'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' don't deserve da' spotlight? Oh, don't get me wrong, if it is two talent-less giant GOONS jumpin' a man a third of they size, oh yeah, market dat' shit!... but two professional athletes from across da' world... they squash it, sweep it unda' da' rug. Why? Because we aint your idea of what a professional wrestla' should be? Or betta' yet, maybe it is just because we aint Americans. Either way, ya can't sit there and tell me it ain't bullshit! Da' only loss I have to me name came at da' hands of two men who, together, couldn't reach muh' level of intensity! When they singled me out, vented all they failures on me... WWE rewarded 'em for it. But my success... my ambition... dat's only gotten me neglected, riddiculed and possibly punished. And why? For what reason? Because I'm a 'little fella'? Funny, 'cuz last week dis' little fella' topled himself a giant, didn't he? Oh yeah, big, BAD Baron Corbin... he went down ta' da' hands of JUST Rockstar Spud!- well, me and a little leverage I decided ta' pack. But hey, if Corbin and Riley can play pals, who is ta' say old Rockstar Spud shouldn't be packin' a little heat of his own? So last week I MADE da' double'ya double'ya E stand up and notice me! If they weren't gonna notice me for muh' looks... or muh' talent.... or da' fact dat I am da' smallest wrestla' to EVA' hold da' Money in da' Bank briefcase... if dat' wasn't enough ta' turn heads, maybe cavin' in da' forehead of Baron Corbin would do da' trick... and ya know what? I think it did, I really do"
.

Spud lets out a primitive growl and kicks the bike behind him again, this time the whole motorcycle came toppling down onto the asphalt! The bike makes a savage 'thud' and the groan of metal. Any biker in the audience got a pain in their chest just from seeing such a beautiful bike fall. But Spud didn't seem to notice or care that he toppled the bike as he dives back into his rant.

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"If I had ta' bet on it, I would be willing ta' say dat' I am da' only thing dat' has been running through da' mind of Baron Corbin since last Monday... well, me and muh' chair"
.

He tacks that snide remark on with a cheeky grin before letting his face morph back into the angry and hostile expression it once had.

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"But no matta' da' point is I went from bein' da' gum on da' bottom of Corbin's and da' Double'ya Double'ya E's shoe... ta' bein' a pain in da' neck of dis' company... and a pain in da' forehead of Baron Corbin; and some how, some way; Rockstar Spud has climbed his way once again from da' opening matches ta' just below da' main event. Keep danglin' dat' brass ring, blokes, and I'll keep snatchin' 'em up! I did it at Money in da' Bank!... and I'll do it again. I have shown time and time again dat' da' little guy was an EQUAL to da' bigger bastards ub da' back- but now, now I am showin' da' big beasties dat' I ain't just ya' equal... I am betta' than you! I am da' future of dis' company, and one day, da' future World Heavyweight or Double'ya Double'ya E Champion! So rest easy, sunshine, dat' da' future of dis' company isn't gonna' take shit from da' likes of Baron Corbin or anyone like him who thinks they are betta' than me just because they are taller! I am gonna' take dat' stereotype and shove it down their throats! Just like I am gonna' shove my fist down they throats- more accurately, down da' throat of Baron F'N Corbin! A man who runs around claimin' ta' be a Big, Bad, Loan Wolf- despite sniffin da' backside of little Ms. Paige... which by da' way, 'Ello doll face"
.

Spud gives a quick wink to Paige and gives Corbin's a bike another stomp before he continues.

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"Ya' get me, Baron? I can see right through ya'- right through da' hogwash and bullshit, and right to da' core of who ya' are. Ya' aint da' 'Big Bad Wolf'... you are just a 'Big Gangley Bitch'! Not even leader of ya' own pack! But I stand here, as I said, your freakin' equal in every way and your superior in ways ya' can't even wrap ya' head around!- even if it was my chair!- you wouldn't be able ta' wrap ya' head around it! I told ya, Corbin... I am a cheetah! A gazelle! A lion! A tiger! And right now you got me so worked up dat' I am a RABID WOLVERINE! And I'm---"
.

Off camera fans can hear Dixie clear he throat and possibly give Spud a warning sign to watch his words; making sure her little rocker doesn't step a toe too far over that WWE Corporate PC line. Spud only gives a knowing grin to Dixie, like he was glad she caught where he was going with his rant as he turns back to the camera.

'MISTAH MONEY IN DA' BANK' ROCKSTAR SPUD;
"Come RAW, Baron... I'm gonna' set da' record straight. I'm gonna' end da' stereotype... and da' myth of Baron Corbin? Da' Legacy of 'Da Big Bad Wolf'... believe me, mate.... I'm gonna burn dat' bitch to da' ground, too! After RAW all dat' will remain of you, Corbin... are memories... and ashes"
.

The WWE Universe then watches on in silence... shock... amusement and even slight horror as he walks off screen and comes back with a can of gas. Without warning Spud begins to soak the bike in gas until it was dripping- and then, reaching to his back pocket, Spud takes a pack of matches and strikes one before setting the whole pack ablaze... only to then toss the little flame onto the gas-soaked bike as it goes up in a hellacious blaze! A bonfire right in the superstar parking lot! The fire burned bright in the eyes of Rockstar Spud, even from behind his sunglasses, as he backs off out of view with Dixie Carter under his arm as various crew members charge to extinguish the motorcycle campfire Spud created... Scene fades out with a shot of the smoldering bike remains.





end.